


How Summer met Wendy

by Maksvell



Category: Cthulhu Mythos - H. P. Lovecraft, Gravity Falls, Rick and Morty
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Coca-Cola, F/F, M/M, Santa is Real, Violence, date
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-06-20 10:34:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15532362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maksvell/pseuds/Maksvell
Summary: Only child Summer Smith travels to Gravity Falls with her grandfather and meets a cool cashier.





	1. The beginning

A girl by the name of Summer Smith was born to the teen couple of Beth Smith (nee, Sanchez) and her shitty boyfriend Jerry Smith. Beth was born of the closest a human being can come to being a God. This is one of the few timelines in which Beth has an acute wine allergy, which in turn caused her to make better decisions, such as leaving Jerry before he could ruin all of their lives, this rejection of Jerry lead to Beth being able to focus on her career, and being a supportive mother to Summer. At the age of sixteen, Summer's grandfather entered their lives, drunk on Preacher Jim's Prison Wine from the nearest Ralph's. He would spend most of his time taking his granddaughter on science fiction adventures that would never cease to fill her mind with alternating feelings of wonder and existential dread. But, ultimately she viewed the adventures as a learning experience, after all she was Rick's granddaughter. She spent her time observing the way her grandfather acted, slowly beginning to emulate the way he crafted devices and bent reality to his will. When she did the same she found that she took to it like a fish to water. But, she decided to keep her intelligence hidden, choosing to act as a typical teenage girl, and average achiever in school. It was on one of her many adventures with her grandfather that she would meet someone who was possibly the love of her life. Rick portal to a dimension where his boyfriend Stanley Pines lived comfortably as the owner of a tourist trap in rural Oregon. They went off to Stan's upstairs bedroom to have cranky old man sex. Summer wandered around the gift shop gawking at they hastily crafted "Mr.Mystery" bobbleheads, and assorted odd things. While she was contemplating stealing a very groovy panther shirt she was approached by the cashier, a girl by the name of Wendy Corduroy. Wendy was tall, and had an air about her that let you know that she was pretty easy going about most things. Summer turned to face her and was dead silent, having a supportive parent does not mean you have to social skills to introduce yourself to a cute girl from a foreign universe. Wendy picked up on this and decided to be the one to break the ice, so to speak.  
"Hey," said Wendy as she extended her hand. "Looking for anything in particular?"  
"No, sorry."  
Summer froze, kind of weirded out by the prospect of shaking the gorgeous stranger's hand. Suddenly she was hit with a feeling of guilt from not introducing herself. She slowly accepted Wendy's handshake.  
"I'm Summer, Summer Smith."  
"A pleasure to meet you, Summer."  
" To you as well. "  
"Y'know, I'm about to go on break, if you want we could go up to the roof and hang out."  
Summer contemplated Wendy's proposal, it took her only a few seconds to accept. Moments later she found herself sitting next to Wendy on a fold-out chair, drinking Pitt-Cola. She slowly sipped the cool, orange syrup from the can as they stared out over the forest of towering pines, and past them to the slowly setting sun.  
"Jesus, the view up here is beautiful."  
" I know right? I come up here when work becomes too much of a drag, y'know? "  
"I wish that I knew, the longest job I've ever had was four days and my boss was The Devil."  
" That sounds like a harsh thing to say, I mean we all have had bad bosses. "  
"Oh no, he was a fantastic boss, but he was literally The Devil. Y'know capital 'T', capital 'D', The Devil. I lost my job because Grandpa Rick decided to one-up him, he tried to kill himself, I helped him revitalize his business, the motherfucker Zuckerberged me, and it all culminated with me and Grandpa Rick getting jacked and beating him senseless in front of a crowd of his supporters."  
" Jesus, that's...intense. "  
"Sorry, about all that, I get a little rambly. "  
"It's alright man, no offense taken on my end, I mean living out here you see some pretty weird stuff, so working for Satan would be just another notch on your belt if you grew up around here, like me."  
"How do you figure ?"  
" Well, for instance, our town is plagued with supernatural bullshit, day in and day out. Last week, I got into a knife-fight with a werewolf in the woods. ", as she said that she raised her shirt and revealed a massive scar running across her stomach, just above the bellybutton.  
"Holy shit, you weren't joking. You're like a total badass."  
"Thanks, but I'm sure you've gotten into bigger scraps than anything I've ever been in, what with being Rick's granddaughter."

"Well there's not that much that I can really brag about, but our adventures tend to wear off into the extreme. I mean sometimes it gets to the point that you wake up worried that you wake up in the feeble body of an elderly clone of yourself or drifting in a black prism through the vacuum of space. But, yeah it's fairly intense ."  
"Jesus, I'm sorry."  
"It's fine."  
There was a long awkward silence that hung in the air like a slab of meat in a butcher 's freezer. Wendy then broke the silence with, "Do you want to go get high?"  
Summer paused, it was a pretty nice proposition, but her only real experience with any kind of drugs came from watching Rick snort a line of crushed up Calaxian Crystal off a stripper's ass on Eryitoha 13. But, then again it would give her the opportunity to learn more about Wendy. But, before she could say anything a small explosion shook the house, and Rick and Stan began to shout.  
"Suuuummmerr, you piece of shit come help me!"  
The two of them raced down to the shop area of the Mystery Shack where they bore witness to the two very nude old men engaged in combat with a series of grotesque, multi-limbed aliens.  
"Wendy! Run to the back and get my shotgun!"  
" Mr.Pines you're naked! "  
"Look, cashier, j-just get, the gun and y'know s-shoot, shoot, shoot. Summer, go with her and bring the closest thing that Staaaann has to a Mixlorpian Repeater. Both of you go now!"  
The two of them rushed to a back room where Stan kept a closet filled with guns. Wendy grabbed a hunting shotgun and Summer grabbed an object that resembled a solid, curved metal rod. The teens rushed the gift shop, weapons were drawn and began to fire upon the multi-limbed abominations that had captured the two old fucks. Summer's metal rod appeared to fire a solid beam of pale, blue light which rendered all that it fell upon a pile of ash on the floor. Within moments the floor was covered in either the pepper-boxed corpses of the aliens, or odd piles of ash, while the four combatants were coated in a mixture a glittery, rainbow adjacent blood, and soot. It was in that Stan and Rick silently agreed that their date was successful. Semi-successful. Before Summer and Rick left, she and Wendy sat behind the house, they both wanted to stay in contact with one another, so Summer forced Rick to give the two of them a shared device so that they could stay in touch, and stay in touch they did.

 

 

In the beginning of time there was one god, and that god was dear, sweet, delicious Coca-Cola. Coca-Cola was a merciful and loving God who created the birds, the trees, and all things in between. Such things also included bad things like liver cancer, Black Friday, Paris Hilton, and the entire state of Indiana (Note: The gods throughout every conceivable reality have elected to ignore Indiana.) But, the evilest amongst the creations of our Lord and master Coca-Cola is it's bastard child, the ice demon of the distant, sunless planet of Mial'brikta, S'natima Buglidara or as we know him Santa Claus, Old Saint Nick, Father Christmas, Papa Noel, Sinterklaus, Finland, and The Father of a Thousand. Santa Claus was originally constructed by Coca-Cola to act as it's son/spokesperson to sell it's life-giving nectar. But, due to a mishap involving it's mother Thomas Nash being forced into the space between the universes known only as bleedspace by the time traveling, star hopping wizard Ziggy Stardust, the monster that would become Santa Claus was born prematurely. 

Since it's birth little Nick displayed whatcha call, Emotional Problems. At the age of four it possessed the body of a young Austrian artist who would go on to be one of the orchestrators of one of the biggest genocides in human history.  
Then in 1948 it molested the sun to death, the embarrassment that our god Coca-Cola felt was so great that it had to take a sentient star from dying universe to act as a stand-in.  
Santa remained dormant for a number of years, sitting in one single spot in the middle of his bedroom, immobile, staring blankly at a J.D Salinger poster as black drool leaked from his cracked lips. Then it was 1970 and he possessed another man, by the name of Mark David Chapman and forced him to kill the pompous British prick, and acclaimed musician/songwriter John Winston Lennon. A year later was the year that Santa would meet the love of his life, while he was backpacking through the Soviet wilderness and fighting Hildefolk with the ghost of Rasputin he came upon the cave nest of the bastard daughter of Nyarlathotep and the Yellow Czar Hastor, Bial'naxqut. His eyes locked with her eyes? Or at least he assumed they were eyes, and they fell in love instantly. They spent their days rolling in the throws of violent, physics-defying passion, the psychic vibrations of which would later reverberate in the back of the mind of Donald Trump, and later inspire him to become the President of The United States. The happy couple would find themselves married in 2008, there wedding was witnessed only by Bial'naxqut's inbred cousin Kanye West, who cheered and clapped as Coca-Cola cried delicious tears. The happy couple would later settle down in a bleak fortress in the rapidly melting, frozen north, their only housemates being the legions of fae-descended elven slaves, who were forced to spread propaganda that Santa Claus was responsible for Christmas. Fuck you, drink Coca-Cola, you stupid cunt.


	2. Bee-Robbie and A Missed Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wendy is late for a date with Summer! Oh fuck!

The sky exploded with a rain of fucking teeth and a grotesque mixture of sinew, capillaries, and rotting bits of gray matter rained from the goddamn sky, creating the most metal thing anyone in the town of Gravity Falls had seen since Weirdmageddon ‘12. God’s fucking tongue fucked the surface of the earth as any good lover should. Goddamn, I hate leprechauns. What the bloody fuck?

Wendy spent her time dodging gore rain as she rushed to her date with Summer. She sprinted along the walls of building feeling like she was Naruto. The capital of Uruguay. Wendy didn’t give a flying fuck about the politics surrounding god’s death in the sky above her town, all she knew was it was the fault of Morty Smith and that, for some weird ass reason made her feel better as she spider-manned her ass on top of a van that was erratically trying to flee the town proper. The only thing that mattered was that she had a fragile ass wicker basket inside which held several very fucking delicate food items. Said items aren’t important. Praise your new god: MIGHTY HASTUR! 

The ride was hellish, but Wendy managed to grip onto the roof of the van with the iron grip bestowed to her by the ancient lumberjanes of old, the new psychedelic gods of the sapphic pantheon. She banged her muscly fist upon the hood. 

“Good god, are you trying to kill us, you loony bastard?”

That loony bastard stuck his fucking head out of the window, the car still swerving wildly and it was the face of her dickhead ex-boyfriend, Robbie, if it was a horrible mash-up with one of those weird monster girl bee creatures. It then began to spit vile black and white fluid at her, knocking her onto her back, and leaping onto the roof with massive metal wings. Like he was goddamn Archangel. The fluid and by extension the Robbie-Bee reeked of ass-sweat and the blood of the many. The van continued to drive, the drive is endless as is the mighty horde gathering in the distance. The end was near, god was tongue fucking the Gulf of Mexico, and worse of all Wendy was lying on her back, accepting her death, while simultaneously being late for her date with Summer!


	3. Bee-Robbie and A Missed Date Pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> God has forgotten us.

It was nearing the end. It didn’t matter if things went out with a bang or with a whimper. All that mattered was that Wendy was laying down, on top of a somehow still mobile van, while being menaced by a humanoid bee-creature that was dressed as her ex-boyfriend. The world outside the constantly moving van was a mess of insanity and neverending madness, brought on by a teenage dipshit and his salacious antics.

 

The world was being assaulted by a massive mouth made of constantly shifting tar, from which spewed only vile, unintelligible curses and bee creatures that were dressed as Robbie Valentino. Wendy considered that they might be fans of The Tombstones. As far as she was concerned everything there was nothing more than a simple nuisance, just an inconvenience. Like a sickly cow that refuses to get out of the middle of the road. Wendy leapt to her feet and faced the Rob-Bee. Wendy was the driver, the Bug was the cow, and her fists were the car tearing through the sick old cow like it was nothing.

 

She was like a machine whose purpose in this world was to manufacture pain and torment. She sent blows at it left and right. Crack! Bang! Pow! It was like playing the drums. A heavy, but very steady pulse-pounding rhythm that she found that she could almost dance to.  Her fists rapidly slammed into its meaty exoskeleton. Cracks began to form. Small at first, slowly growing larger, sending a lightning bolt of pain throughout its alien nervous system. It let out an evil hiss as bits of its exoskeleton shattered and flew away. Like dust in the wind. Wendy was elated, beating down on this weird gross monster was more refreshing than drinking that first cup of coffee in the morning. Through Wendy Corduroy this monster learned fear.  

 

And with that it all ended almost as suddenly and as surreally as it began. A wicked and painfully white twisted blade pierced through the middle torso of the Rob-Bee. It’s wielder concealed by the massive form of the monster.

 

_ Twist, and twist, and twist. Be a good angel and twist to my heart’s content. _

 

The blade began to twist erratically. Wendy could see the bee’s alien organs wrapping around the pearlescent white blade as it spun slowly, and precisely.

 

_ Now pull back, allow the fall to come. _

 

The blade quickly slid into the body, vanishing as discolored bile began to leak from the body. Wendy stepped back as the lifeless corpse collapsed. The tool of her salvation revealed to be a towering being. Thin, and featureless. The whatever this thing was, she couldn’t be sure if it was friend or foe. It was massive, and its body seemed to be a solid pearl colour. At least it would be if there weren’t a series of white tinted purple trails running just beneath the skin. Whatever this being was, they were glorious, and oddly blinding to look upon. Wendy took a step back, not out of fear, but out of awe. It extended its arm it’s thin, spider-like hand open.

 

“Greetings, Wendy,” the being’s voice was...remarkable to say the least. It was inhuman, it was unnatural. It was one of the most beautiful sounds that she had ever heard. It was like the faint memory of a music box playing a song that would lull you to sleep in your earliest of days. The sound was so simple and so overpowering that it sent her to tears. She didn’t cry out of sorrow, she didn’t cry out of rage, she simply cried because that was the only thing her brain could make her do to deal with how overwhelmed she was with emotion. She slowly approached, wiping tears away from her eyes as she stood before the being. 

 

“W-who the heck are you? What the heck are you?” Wendy was still incapable of really looking at this being.


	4. Interlude With Summer Part 1.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We take a small break from hanging out with Wendy (a shame, I know) and instead we partake in a small bit of inter-dimensional drama involving a couple'a Ricks and their charges.

The horde is endless. The fighting seemed to have gone on for three days without end. Wave after wave of strange Emo-Apis flooded from a massive black maw in the sky over Gravity Falls, only to be mowed down by the unyielding laser-beam fire of Summer, her Rick, a version of someone who could have been her brother in another life, and his Rick.   
“So, Morty. How exactly is this your fault again?”, Summer said speaking to her not-brother with the same amount of intensity that his Summer might have, had she been here.

“I-It’s kind of a long story,” the fourteen-year-old paused and tossed a blue glowing grenade into a crowd of bug-men.

His Rick quickly chimed in when the crowd was quickly reverted into a series of Axe body spray scented phosphorus puddles. The horde would not return for another few minutes with larger numbers. “That’s bullshit. Luh-little idiot here thought he could romance an eldritch alien queen by the name of Q’iardrapunctia.” he began to laugh, “d-dumbass t-thinks that he’s -urrrp- captain fuckin’ Kirk.”  
“F-fuck you, Rick.”

“Quiet, we, we wouldn’t be in this mess if you could keep it in your pants.”

Summer’s Rick then chimed in. “H-hey, knock it the hell off.”

“O-or what? Whatcha -urrp- g-gonna do about it. Nothing...Y-y’know why? C-cause you’re just one of them, s-soft boy Ricks.” Morty’s Rick then put on a high falsetto voice to mock Summer’s Rick. “Oh, look at me. I travel with a Summer because my Beth is so f-fragile that she can’t handle her liquor like her d-daddy. Oohooohoo.”

Summer’s Rick leapt at Morty’s Rick and began to tear at his black tip-dyed hair. “You son of a bitch” he screamed to the annoyance of Summer and Morty. The Ricks eventually reverted to primal screaming as they tossed away their guns and begin to swing their fists at one another clumsily. To Morty and Summer, it was like watching two elephant seals as they fight for dominance, the comparison became quite literal when they both started to slam their bodies against one another. The horde eventually arrived but stopped to watch as the Ricks fought against one another.


End file.
